Spiritual Bypassing – Good or Bad?
How do city planners build highways connecting cities when each town has heavy vehicular traffic? The solution is simple. Build routes that bypass cities to avoid traffic jams. So, can we avoid the heavy emotional traffic in our lives? Yogic and spiritual gurus advocate the principles of Pratipaksa Bhavanam as a means to overcome negative emotions in life. But people misinterpret these teachings and blindly follow spirituality to avoid facing the harsh realities of life, giving rise to the concept of Spiritual Bypassing.
So what is spiritual bypassing? Read on…
Spiritual Bypassing – The Westernized Definition
John Welwood, a noted transpersonal psychotherapist, twisted the principles of Pratipaksa Bhavanam and coined a new term, ‘Spiritual Bypassing,’ He described it as a tendency to use spiritual ideologies to sidestep unresolved emotional issues, unfinished developmental tasks, and psychological wounds. But, it exposed the harsh realities of life that people often take refuge in spirituality when confronted with negative emotional or psychological issues.
So we can say that spiritual bypassing is a form of escapism where people use spirituality to suppress uncomfortable issues. Examples of such problems in life can be the sudden loss of a near and loved one, a relationship breakup, child abuse, loss of jobs, self-sabotaging emotional health problems, and so on. Spiritual bypassing happens when we depend on spirituality as a drug to ignore the darker elements and hardships of our lives.
Do you know that every individual in the world indulges in some spiritual bypassing in their lives? Let us discuss some spiritual bypassing behavior to understand the concept better. Subsequently, we can compare spiritual bypassing with Pratipaksa Bhavanam and know whether it is good or bad for use.
Different types of spiritual bypassing behavior
Depending on the specific circumstances, people display different types of spiritual bypassing behavior. Let us look glance through the most common characteristics.
The Eternal Optimist: People who always prefer to look at the good side of things while ignoring the bad ones qualify as eternal optimists. It usually signifies their inability to tackle negative emotions. So, they take refuge in optimism.
The Self-Delusionist: These individuals seek to follow spiritualism to feel superior or more enlightened than others. Thus, they use self-delusion to mask their insecurities. Many self-proclaimed spiritual gurus fall into this category.
The Horoscope Blind Believer: Most people who turn to horoscope readings to find remedies for their negative emotions fall into this category. Such people are generally afraid to take responsibility for their decisions.
The Victim Card Player: Some spiritual seekers believe they have extrasensory abilities that prevent them from feeling happy or healthy. Such people tend to pity themselves or even go to the extent of self-destruction.
The Self-suffering personality: Generally, we assume spiritual people to be kind and compassionate. So, we believe they do not have a darker side to themselves. However, such people build a reputation they find hard to maintain when faced with negative emotions. So, they take the spiritual bypass route to avoid facing unpleasant issues.
The Psychoactive solution seeker: A particular section of the population turn to psychoactive substances like alcohol and drugs to escape the rigors of daily life. It is also a form of spiritual bypass.
The Spirit Guide mentality: Some people rely on an external force, usually referred to as an angel or God, to help them tide over difficult circumstances. It can sometimes help but fails to develop the strength of spiritual character. So it is better to let the spirit guide us but not hold our finger at all times.
The Prayer Bypass: Prayers can help you develop a positive attitude and strengthen you to deal with negative emotions. However, it can lead to passivity, causing imbalances in life and disaster because we depend on divine intervention rather than trusting our instincts.
The Guru syndrome: Seeking assistance from a spiritual guru can help, but over-relying on them can lead to a cult formation. So, it is another form of spiritual bypassing.
There are only few of the spiritual bypassing methods people use to escape negative emotions. All these behavior make us avoid facing psychologically harmful situations in life. However, they do not help us deal with problems like Pratipaksa Bhavanam does.
So, how is Pratipaksa Bhavanam different from Spiritual Bypassing?
Pratipaksa Bhavanam Vs. Spiritual Bypassing
We have discussed that Spiritual Bypassing is escapism from the harsh realities of life by taking the spiritual route. On the other hand, Pratipaksa Bhavanam helps overcome negative emotions by teaching us to look at the good aspects of everything in life. Pratipaksa means ‘Opposite,’ and Bhavanam represents ‘Sentiment or Emotion.’
Pratipaksa Bhavanam teaches us not to ignore negative issues but overcome them by passing through and detaching ourselves from them. So, it believes that ignorance is not bliss. It states that the only way to overcome negative emotions is to go through them. You may or may not find a silver lining to the cloud, but escaping from the problem is definitely not the way to deal with it.
The defining line between Pratipaksa Bhavanam and Spiritual Bypassing is thin. So, it requires much introspection to understand the difference between the two concepts and adopt the path of Pratipaksa Bhavanam to overcome your negative feelings.
So, Pratipaksa Bhavanam is a beautiful mind-changing practice, whereas Spiritual Bypassing is like clutching at straws to pretend that negative emotions do not exist.
So, is spiritual bypassing good or bad?
Spiritual bypassing is not always bad because it can prove helpful in times of severe distress. It can provide temporary relief and prevent negative emotions like anger, frustration, and anxiety. However, it has severe negative impacts if used as a long-term strategy.
- It can make you anxious and confuse you emotionally, making you dependent on others to resolve your issues rather than facing them headlong.
- It leads to blindly believing spiritual leaders and spiritual narcissism.
- You start disregarding your responsibilities and keep finding escape routes instead of dealing with the issue and resolving it.
- It can lead to extreme behavior like excessive tolerance on the one hand and, alternatively, inappropriate blaming of others.
So, Spiritual Bypassing is not a good trend. Therefore, how do you stop Spiritual Bypassing?
- Be open-minded and accept yourself as you are because no one can be perfect in every way. It helps you to deal with your darker side better.
- Prepare to face the truth and relieve yourself of the baggage of cognitive dissonance.
- Confide in people you can trust to stand by you in times of need.
- Feel and experience the pain because that is something you must deal with at some point.
In short..
Like highway bypasses, spiritual bypassing can temporarily help you avoid emotional traffic. But, it would be best to realize that spirituality has its dark sides, and awareness is critical to enlightenment. So, facing our pain and sorrow is essential rather than resorting to spiritual bypassing to escape life’s problems.
